[나나]괜찮다..괜찮다..괜찮다..

 

 

猫猫说，本命年刚一过，我们就开始转运了~

 

坚持住，一个星期，就一个星期。

 

fingers crossed~

不开心不开心不开心不开心不开心

i need something to cheer me up

妈~突然得到通知今天住院明天就要做手术了，紧张么，现在的你在做什么呢，看书，还是吃了睡觉药准备睡了呢。放心，有蝈蝈在，有主任在，你的手术不会有任何问题的。像你自己说的，做这个手术考虑了2，3年，真到做的时候就什么也不再想了，交给医生决定就好。说了那么久，没想到明天真的要做手术了。你反复说不用我回来，你一个人能行，说这只是一个微创检查手术，心脏如果没什么大问题的话就不用放支架了。可是我这个不孝女，居然也真的就没有回去……记得我高三那年，你做了子宫肌瘤手术，当时我住在奶奶家。你为了怕影响我当天的期末考试，竟然是做完了才告诉的我。第二天我和蝈蝈去看你，才知道你前一天就做完了手术。蝈蝈跟我说，你妈妈真了不起。我觉得惭愧，之前电话里我以为是信号有些不好，竟没有想到是你手术之后声音才会这样虚弱。妈，人这一辈子才能做几次手术啊，你两次做手术我却都错过了……如果我还在北京多好，如果我还在你身边，多好。现在的我，什么也为你做不了，远在天边，连给你倒个水揉个腰都做不到……爸爸在天上看着我，他一定也在心里怪我吧。妈，别的不说了，我一定努力赚钱，3年为限，我要把你接到我身边来，让我好好的照顾你。我明天会跟蝈蝈随时保持联系的，手术一定会顺利的。

 

there are stuffs that i really feel confused abt.. like marriage..?

what is marriage..why ppl get married..i mean if one can live very well, in terms of financial, physical and mental, totally independently..does he still need a wife? does she need a husband? what does company mean..why ppl feel lonely..what if after u get married, u find out that she or he is not the person that u looking for..what if u cant compromise..what if it turns out that u all wanted are the different things..should u get married in the first place then?..being in love does not necessary lead to the marriage..a marriage..does not just involve the beloved couples..there are so many other issues need to be thought through..or..it would be so heartbroken that u find out the man that u've been spending ur entrie life with..does not love u as much as u do..doesnt mean that he is in love with someone else..just..not in the same place as u are..

i shouldnt be thinking more of these..its totally wrong..why am i feeling so negative..

what is my new year resolution gonna be..what do i really want..where will i be in 5 yrs..whom am i gonna be with in 5 yrs time..i do hope that there wont be any change..yet, who knows? mayb amy does know.